The Bane of My Existence

What the hell is wrong with me? I get a little money and all of a sudden I can’t make a decision to save my life.

Case in point:

I took the day off to recuperate from a few hectic days of work. So I’m driving along this morning, heading to the movie theatre to see an early showing of Cars, when out of nowhere I have to buy something. Now! I have $95 left from the bonus I got two days ago and my burning pocket is beginning to singe the hair on my thighs. If I don’t whip out my credit card soon, I’ll have a seizure.

I do a quick u-turn and head for Barnes & Noble. Before I get halfway there, I’m already plotting my plan and it no longer incorporates going to the bookstore. Instead, I decide to turn back for home and buy that new X-Men Omnibus from Instock Trades. Doing that won’t feel as good as spending the money and actually walking away with something in hand, but I’ve had my eye on that collection for awhile, and there’s no time like the present.

Of course, I mull this over for roughly one minute longer than it actually takes me to get to B&N, so in I go. No more than eight steps inside my eye catches bright reds and blues and an old Superman logo.
”Ooooh, cool,” I mutter to myself. I do a quick glance around to make sure no one heard me talk to myself, then I pick up the hefty book, Superman: The Dailies 1939-1942. It’s a gorgeous hardcover that reprints the first 966 Superman daily newspaper comic strips. Of course, right next to it is another hefty book, Superman: Sunday Classics 1939-1943. Both are B&N exclusives.

Now I have a dilemma. Go home and get the X-Men book online or pick up these beauties now. Damn! What to do? Naturally, I can't rush into this, so I walk around the store while I think it through. Of course I'm in a bookstore so I find another book while I'm debating the issue. Lucky for me, Coma by Alex Garland, is only $5 on the bargain table, so it really doesn’t effect my decision. After comparing the quality on the four copies in front of me and switching out the dust jackets so the minty fresh one is teamed with the tight, pristine book, I’m off.

I peruse other books with Coma tucked safely under my arm, ensuring it’s protected from possible damage caused by a sweaty palms or obstacles that might be jutting out from table, bookshelves, or passerby. I pick up a few other books, but nothing catches my interest. How can they when my mind continues to turn over my debate?

But unfortunately, there’s no decision to be had. There’s too much at stake here. I leave the store without Superman.

Driving home, my indecision takes a turn for the worse. Instead of looking at the problem logically, I begin to kick myself for spending money on lunch three times this week. And why did I have to order a pizza last night? What an idiot. Had I simply taken a sandwich to work a few times or eaten macaroni and cheese last night, I’d have enough money to buy all three books. Instead, I have to carry this baggage with me the rest of the weekend.

Then it gets even worse when I start to tell myself that I don’t need any of those damn books anyway. I already have a backlog of unread books on my shelves, so how will three more make me any happier? It’s not like I’m going to have time to read the damn things anytime soon. Screw ‘em.

So what do I do when I get home? I start checking online prices for the books I’m looking for. Good, God, man, what’s wrong with me? Why can't I just make a fucking decision?

I’m telling you, sometimes I wonder if I should take up a new hobby.