My Wife Thinks I'm Crazy Part 38

Stephanie walked into the office while I was sliding one of my new CGC-graded Conan comics into a resealable bag. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Umm, putting these comics in bags," I said, stating the obvious.

"I can see that," she said, perplexed. "But why?"

"So the case doesn't get scratched," I said. The puzzled look on her face told me she was working another question in her head, one that would indicate that she clearly doesn't understand the things I do. So I held up a slabbed book in my left hand and grabbed another with my right. I mimicked putting the two together, trying to demonstrate that if they weren't bagged, the case would get scuffed up or worse.

"It's the comic that matters, right?" she asked. "And the shell thing protects that already. Why protect the thing that's protecting the comic?"

"That's true, but..." I started, thinking to myself, where does it end? Would I get a bag to protect the bag? Of course not, but I knew Stephanie wouldn't understand, so I changed tactics. "Look how great the book looks in the bag. Not sure what it is, but it really pops now."

She just laughed on the way out of the room. "You're crazy, dear. And I love you for it."

Why Oh Y do You Taunt Me So?

I was able to say no to the Ex Machina oversize hardcover that collects books I already own. I was able to say no to the Gotham Central oversize hardcover that collects books I already own. But DC has bested me. I simply don't see how I'm going to withstand knowing that there's a Y: The Last Man oversize hardcover that doesn't grace my shelf. I just couldn't take it.

I'm excited about my decision to buy this one. No second guessing this one. I'll enjoy the book many times I'm sure because it's the best series I've ever read. But I have opened the door to double dipping, and what's good for the goose is good for this gander, so I'm afraid it's only a matter of time before I start wondering if an upgraded version of Ex and Gotham wouldn't be welcome after all.

Mmmmm, Covers...

I've been known to buy comics solely for the covers. These books are never to be opened, just enjoyed behind a clean, shiny mylite2. Here's one I have my eye on today. I don't even know who the character is, but I'm considering adding it to my next order. It's the cover to New Exiles #9 ready to ship in August. Alexander Garner's colors are vibrant and enticing. I suppose the woman's face is a little too manaquin, but those colors...those beautiful, beautiful colors...

I also considered briefly the new Secret Invasion: X-Men #1, but then I realized that there were other characters on the cover other than Emma Frost. Once I spotted those other characters, I realized just how stupid the cover is and I crossed it from my list. Still, Emma's looking better than ever...

Of course, this is all fantasy. I won't buy either. Once you slap the title's logo on either of the books, they lose their luster. Besides, I have a house to buy.

The Final Chapter?

I went to Barnes and Noble to pick up another Star Wars book. After looking over 5-6 copies, I found one I could live with. Nothing particularly interesting about the book or the purchase, just the fact that I still collect these damn books without reading them. And with 95% of my book collection in boxes in my garage, I'm not even sure I can use the whole "but the spines look so cool on my shelf" reasoning.

Then again, this is the final chapter in the "Legacy of the Force" series. Now's my chance to quite for good. [cue laugh track]

Just Say No

Has it really been two weeks since I last posted? Time flies when you can't think about collecting. In the last couple of weeks, my mind has been focused on my new home pretty much non-stop, so not only have I not had money to devote to my hobbies, I haven't had time either.

But tonight I placed my order for comics shipping in July. I spent a whopping $41 with shipping. It's like, for the first time in years, I'm curbing my spending. Sure, I've spent under $50 before, but let's face it, anytime I did, it was more to do with the lack of interesting books and less to do with will power.

Not this time. Tonight I found plenty of books I'm interested in, I just decided to say no. And it worked. Who knew? So instead of spending money on comics, I'm saving it up so I can buy a lawn mower, or a new fridge, or the washer/dryer combo. Sure, it'd be cool to move into my new home with a bigger stack of things to read or a shorter list of cards on my list, but you know what? Buying a TV or patio furniture is more important right now.

Wait. Does this mean I've finally grown up? God, let's hope that doesn't last...

EDITED TO ADD: You know, it's funny. Despite all of what I said, I still managed to buy Savage Sword of Conan Volume 4. I still haven't finished volume 1 because I'm not even sure if I like it. So it's good to see that at least some things never change.

Third Time's a Charm

Today is my third wedding anniversary. That's right, three years ago today Stephanie and I tied the knot. It's the best thing I ever did, no question.

While we've been planning a few events for tonight, we've also been fantasizing about what we're going to do with our new house. That's right, just last night we signed the final paperwork that set the whole home buying experience in motion. We close on June 12.

The last few days, with the house and the anniversary talk in the air, I've completely forgotten about collecting. Jumping on eBay to find more football cards, or dusting my first edition books, or soaking in my favorite Adam Hughes covers has been the farthest thing from my mind. Throw the warm Spring weather in the mix and you get a tempered collector's mentality. I'm looking forward to a much needed break.

Although I don't foresee adding to my collections in the coming weeks, I do consider it a necessity to make some more cuts. First thing on the chopping blocks: My Marvel run of Star Wars comics. After that, I feel the dam about to burst. In other words, I don't imagine moving into the house with any comic books.

Let the selling begin...

Buy High, Sell Low

Trying to get rid of a few items to make room on my bookcase. For now, just a few unwanted hardcovers. Based on other eBay auctions, I'll be lucky to get even the cover price of one of these books, let alone price I paid for the bunch. But that's a risk I have to take with a home purchase in my future...

For those interested in what I'm offering up this first time around on eBay, check out my auctions.

Upgrade Central

Noticed a bad trend happening over at DC. For the second time I've noticed an oversize hardcover of material already collected in tradepaperback. This time it's Gotham Central, my all-time favorite series set in Gotham City. But just like Ex Machina, I already own all of the trades. So do I need to upgrade my reading material?

I'm not even sure if this is really a collector's question. It's not the collector in me that is considering the upgrade. I don't feel this urge to own every version of the books I like. As far as the collector goes, all I care about is the first rendition of my favorite stories. For novels, that means a first edition hardcover. For a comic, that's the monthly issue. This is neither.

Instead, it's all about my preferred format. Book publishers make this so easy on me. I love hardcovers and I love the first rendition of a book. Well, those are one in the same. So for me, this is uncharted territory. I dig hardcovers and the oversize art, but does that equate to spending more money on the same story?

I skipped the Ex Machina hardcover collection, but I'll be tempted again once I actually see or hold the thing. Yet one driving factor will be whether or not DC will publish the rest of the material in hardcover, or will my bookcases always look stupid with a mix of hardcovers and softcovers of the same title?

I know it's all about money, but why can't there be a little rhyme and reason behind how comic publishers produce their collected material?

A Fond Farewell?

So I'm reading through DC's solicitations for July 2008 when I'm suddenly thinking it's time to start buying more monthlies. I don't know why, exactly, it just feels like the right thing to do for some reason. When I notice that Catwoman is starring in Detective Comics, I think, what the hell? I might as well dive into a few series to see what's going on. Hell, maybe I'll start reading every issue with Catwoman in it.

Then WHAM! that dream comes crashing down when I read the solicitation for Catwoman #81 and I spot the last words on the marketing blurb: FINAL ISSUE.

Well that blows. I know the title isn't the best on the shelves, but ever since Brubaker took over, I really liked the character. So much so that I was considering reading more of her. I guess that won't be happening now.

I just hope that Adam Hughes takes over the cover chores of another book before too long. At least he's giving her a nice send off. It's almost as if she's telling DC to kiss her well-formed ass.

What Exactly Are You Doing?

I don't know anything about this Final Crisis thing other than the fact that DC has been leading up to this explosive, life-changing event for what seems like four years. But one thing I do know is that the cover to issue 3 is fantastic. It's downright spooky, and sexy at the same time. It's one of the few covers I've seen in awhile that makes me actually want to read the book to see exactly what the hell's going on.

And knowing me, I'll be buying it to find out. Then again, I'm doubting those red bars on either side of Wonder Woman will be on the final cover, so who knows if that will make the image better or worse. Only time will tell.

Saving Money with Previews

My interest in comics hit an all-time low today when I placed my order for books shipping in three months. The damage came to a mere $52 with shipping. That's the lowest it's been since I started using DCBS a few years ago. And nearly half of that price came with Drawing Words and Writing Pictures, a how-to by Jessica Abel and Matt Madden (which should be a fantastic book).

You know, that isn't exactly true. Yes, that $52 is less than any other order I've placed with DCBS, but my interest in the few comics I did order is actually pretty high. So maybe that's the key? Instead of buying a bunch of comics I'm hoping will be good, I'll buy much less and focus on those that I'm much more positive will be solid reads.

Either way, I saved a few bucks this time around, and that's never a bad thing for a collector.

The Same, Only Different

I was surfing Amazon.com this morning and found myself focusing on searching for any and all books devoted to the Green Bay Packers. So I emailed Jason.

"I've decided that I'm totally into buying books on the Packers," I wrote.

He wrote back, "You're just now realizing that?"

"No, I guess not, I just like thinking about it."

Anyway, in my search I discovered the soon-to-be-released updated version of Green Bay Packers: The Complete Illustrated History. I read the first volume and loved it. Now the question is would the information on the 2007 season and Favre's retirement be enough for me to buy the same book twice.

Any modern comic collector understands the variant craze. I'll admit that I've played the sucker a few times and paid out the nose for a comic that is a little more "rare" and features a different cover than the regular version. But this is different, right? This isn't some variant, it's just an updated history book. And wouldn't buying this put me on the edge of a slippery slope? If I buy this one, does that mean I have to buy next year's volume, too? In ten years, will I have 10 volumes of this same book?

Only time will tell, I suppose, but I'm guessing that anyone who's read this blog more than a few times already knows the answer to my questions.

That's Not Art, That's Just Cool

I might be pulling further and further away from comics these days (don't worry, it's like a rubber band, I'll snap back before Marvel reveals who's a Skrull) but my football card habit just keeps on truckin' full steam ahead.

It's crazy how much I love the Packers. With each passing season, I get more and more drawn into every aspect of the organization. I find myself watching the news earlier and earlier, following the team's transactions throughout the off season. And with every passing year, my collecting gets more and more frenzied, too.

I posted not long ago that collecting comics is so subjective. We collect these pieces of art based on our personalities and what we find appealing. As you've seen, I'm currently learning that fewer and fewer comics strike my fancy, and I'm pulling away from collecting them altogether.

Sometimes my book collecting is at odds with my book reading, too. I'd say that about 30% of my first edition novels remain unread (it's probably more than that, but I hesitate to actually do the math). I have enough books to keep me busy for a few years, but I keep buying them to continually update my collection. At the same time, however, I'm not buying them for the sake of the collection either. It's not all about quantity. I don't get excited by the number of books I have. Instead, I buy them with the hopes that I'll not only one day read them, but that I'll enjoy the story, too. So yes, in other words, nearly half of my collection I have no idea if I actually like.

There's something off putting about that notion. I would never buy a painting with the hopes that I would someday grow to like it, yet here I am, with books and comics all over the place that have yet to strike a chord with me (unless you count my love for cool spines, but you get the idea).

Football cards are totally different. There's no artistic value to them whatsoever. They are 100% collectible items. I could make the argument that they have historical significance to football fans, or that the design work is artistic, but let's face it, I buy them for my collection and nothing more. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the hell out of 'em: putting them in sleeves, scanning them, posting them to my website, writing about them, talking about them, organizing them, reorganizing them. I get more mileage out of these cards then any kid who puts 'em on the spokes of his bike.

No, I buy a football card to cross it off my list. To finally be able to say I have a complete set. To be the first one on the block with the complete Packers master team set from this year or that brand. While many might scoff at the very notion, I think it makes the collection all that much more significant because there's no other point. It's a collection that doesn't try to be high brow, or intellectual, or cool. It's just a collection.

I think that's why the list of cards I own keeps growing. While I often second guess my book or comic collections or change my requirements for what I consider to be quality art, I'm always going to be a Packers fan and I'm always going to have this urge to buy cardboard. And I'm totally cool with that.

When you look at my comic or book collection, you'll know that what I read says a lot about who I am. My taste in art reflects my soul. For football cards, the collection says nothing more than the fact that I'm a huge Packers fan. Well, it might also say that I'm a little obsessive compulsive (what's the deal with buying the same card ten times, anyway?) and I need to get out of the house more, but you get the idea.

Nope, these cards certainly aren't art...but they're certainly cool.

Just Another Sucker

I haven't updated my blog for awhile because I don't have much to say that hasn't been said. I'm tired of comics and I'm considering selling off the bulk of my collection; not only the trades and OGNs, but also the single issues. It's serious this time. I mean, I look at my collection and wish it would suddenly disappear. I'd rather have the extra space then these books filling up my bookcase and closet.

Of course, that way of thinking won't stop me from heading to Mile High on Wednesday and getting the new issue of Wonder Woman.

Yeah, it doesn't make any sense to me either. Then again, I never said anything I wrote or felt about collecting would make sense.

Actually, the idea of buying a book when I'm this turned off by comics makes my stomach turn a little. Sure, I'm hoping the Gail Simone story will somehow work for me, but the odds aren't in her favor. So yeah, it really doesn't make any sense.

But wait, it gets better.

See, not only am I planning to get that Wonder Woman, I'm also considering spending $50 on a book I know I won't like. Go figure. But something about the Star Wars: Luke Skywalker, Last Hope for the Galaxy hardcover collection has me intrigued. Not so much for any enjoyment I might get out of reading the book, but more about pure speculation. I know Star Wars fans are die hards, and I also know that most of the Marvel omniboo prices on the secondary market went through the roof before Marvel went back to press. I'm not sure if I'll pull the trigger, especially when I realize that every time I've bought something with the hope of turning it into a profit, those plans failed miserably. Plus that cover looks like crap. Sure, it's not the actual cover, Dark Horse is only using the image for "solicitation only," but what does that say for the actual cover?

Yeah, comics suck, but I'm still a sucker.

Spinal Injury

Perhaps I spoke too soon about the latest Hard Case Crime cover. As it turns out, the spine isn't uniform with the rest. It's one of those books that contains two novels where you read one and flip the book to read the other. So the spine has the HCC logo on the top and the bottom.

My good friend Jason pointed it out to me. The only reason I hadn't noticed is that I was heavily medicated when I bought it. That and the fact that I haven't put it on the shelf yet. Now I'm not sure I even want to.

Stupid spines!

Never Judge a Book...

I love these Hard Case Crime covers. Makes me actually want to read one of 'em. I'll have to try that some day.

Spring Cleaning

Two things happened this week. First, I realized that most of the comics I read aren't very good. Second, I had surgery on my knee. As you can probably guess, that second one gave me plenty of on the couch, which translated into plenty of time to read more and more comics. I was hoping to find some that really turned me on to the format again, but unfortunately, what I found were more books to get rid of.

Of the 10+ books I read in the last few days, the only series I liked enough to keep and possibly read again was Catwoman. It started with Cooke's Selina's Big Score and continued in the Brubaker-penned series. These two really created a character I like, with situations that go much deeper than the typical superhero books. As a matter of fact, I plan to keep reading the book under the new writer (Pfeifer) because Brubaker actually got me to care for Selina, Slam, and Holly.

Other books didn't fare so well. While I enjoyed The Other Side by Aaron and Stewart, the story didn't have the emotional impact I was hoping for. I found myself thinking, "This part is supposed to make me sad." It was almost as if I could tell what the storytellers wanted me to feel, I just couldn't feel it.

There were still others that were decent reads but still left me feeling cold, such as Supermarket by Wood and Kristian, Filler by Spears and G, and Hazed by Sable and Rodriguez. Essential X-Factor Volume 1 made me realize I had bad taste as a kid, too. Right now I'm diving into the hardcover Superman/Batman titles I have. If I remember correctly, the first volume was pretty good, but the series went downhill from there.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post. I guess I'm growing more and more disillusioned about comics everyday. My plan is to read every book I own and get rid of anything I don't plan to read again. On top of that, I've already read through the newest Previews and I won't be ordering more than a few books.

I should mention that there are plenty of great comics I won't be reading this weekend. I love Invincible and Walking Dead and The Goon and Y: The Last Man. It's just that those titles make up less than a third of my shelf space, and I'd like to believe that there's something more out there, even if it means I have to go out and find it.

Well, I'm off to read some more. I have plenty of reading material left to go through. I just hope I can find something that I like before my entire bookcase is stripped clean.

Comics Suck

For the last month and a half, I've put aside all prose and focused my reading time on comic book tradepaperback collections and original graphic novels. Want to know what I found? That comics suck. At least most of them.

I know that sounds harsh. I also know that there are some great stories to be had in comic format. Unfortunately, those stories are few and far between. What I've found in the last month (and in the last five years) is that most comics are a fun diversion at best. And when it comes time to defend comics, everyone mentions a few key classics and moves on, continuing to read more and more garbage with the hopes that something new will come along that will fit in with those other greats of the format.

Unfortunately for this collector, I can't remember the last comic that grabbed me by the balls and wouldn't let go. The last comic that toyed with my emotions in such a way that I couldn't get rid of that feeling for days. Is it too much to ask for a comic story to make me feel something? To come away from the book changed in some way? Can't comics be good enough that they're more than just a way to pass the time?

I can think of a large number of novels and memoirs that impacted me in that way. I can think of an even larger number of movies. Sure, I realize that for every movie or book that strikes a chord for me there are 1000s that wouldn't, so in theory the same should hold true for comics. It just doesn't seem that way. It seems that bad comics are the norm, not the exception.

I realize that something else might be at play here. Maybe it's just that for movies and books, I've learned to pick and choose which ones I'm fairly certain I will enjoy and that the older I get, the better I am at picking winners.

With comics it's a total crap shoot. With comics, you can use Previews to order a book three months in advance, or you can base your purchases on word of mouth and reviews. With the former, you're basing your purchase on little more than assumptions because the solicitations give you very little to go off of. And don't get me started on reviews. I'm yet to find a comic reviewer who is unbiased enough to write a review that actually helps me make an informed decision. You get fan boys who love everything, or you have indie fans who love everything. Still others are trying to break into the business and would never go so far as to say which comics stink for fear of pissing off the wrong people.

Yet as my trade and OGN collection continues to grow with books I'll never read again, I need to put some serious thought into how I purchase these books. Using Previews isn't working for anything new. Sure, if I've read the title or writer before, I can be certain I'll enjoy this next volume. But for something new? How do you make an informed decision on a new comic?

I'm not sure what the answer is, but you can bet this month's order form will be anemic. After that, who knows. Perhaps it's time to do away with the whole buying new mentality, and only buy those key books that attain classic status years after they hit the shelves. The collector in me balks at that idea. I can't imagine how hard it would be to find pristine first editions that late in the game. But maybe it's time to quiet that part of me and focus on the reader, the part of me who loves comics and wants to see comics succeed. Of course, that might be a difficult proposition because the only way I can get back on that bandwagon is actually reading something good, and doing so consistently.

A Close Call

Drove down to Mile High after work today just to get the latest issue of Catwoman (gotta keep my Hughes cover collection alive). Naturally, I had a look around despite the fact that I have too many trades and graphic novels already. Next thing I know, I'm this close to buying a Star Wars collection. Even went so far as to talk to Aaron and a customer about which series is the best.

Somehow, I talked myself out of it (okay, not really...the one I wanted wasn't a first edition), but then I was immediately drawn to the Catwoman collections. I was about to pick up one of them when I realized I never read the last one and still have it on my shelf, untouched.

It was almost as if I felt bad for driving that far for a single comic, so I was looking to buy more to make the trip worth it. Or maybe it's the fact that spending money is a habit, and only getting one $3 fix wasn't enough.

Regardless, cooler heads prevailed and I picked up just the one issue.

Whew!

Favre From Over

It's Sunday. I’m in Boulder to celebrate my wife’s birthday with eating, conversing, and shopping. I’m already having a fantastic day when we step into the Boulder Bookstore. I have blinders on as I rush past the new fiction shelves and make my way for the newsstand. I’m a man on a mission. I mean, if any bookstore in Colorado is going to have copies of the Sports Illustrated Brett Favre tribute, it’s going to be in Boulder. They may be out of the latest issue of Vegetarians in Need or Fun with Tofu, but a football magazine should be readily available…assuming they ordered any in the first place.

I turn the corner just past the new fiction shelf and head for the magazines. My eyes are drawn immediately to the bottom row where I see, in all their glory, at least 20 copies of the Favre tribute. It’s as if I've died and gone to Cheesehead Heaven.

I spend the next 10 minutes looking at each copy, weeding out the obviously unacceptable ones and slowly narrowing down my choices until I have three copies to choose from. I look at these three with even more scrutiny. My attention to detail pays off as it turns out one of them has a slightly off-center spine. Just like that, I have the two copies that are going home with me.

I’m not done yet, though. I can’t head to the cashier without looking over the eight copies of the weekly edition of Sports Illustrated; it has a tearful Favre on the cover and features a story on Favre’s retirement so I might as well pick up one of those, too. It only takes me a few minutes to choose the best copy because all but one has serious spine damage. How this one copy managed to escape unscathed is beyond me, but it’s clear the Collecting Gods are smiling down on me today.

I’m all smiles as I walk to the cashier, yet there’s a tugging at the back of my mind. Something’s amiss. Disaster is looming. But the feeling is elusive; I can’t pin it down. Maybe it’s the excitement of getting my hands on these magazines, but for whatever reason, I discard my instinct to hide.

At the cash stand, the big woman with too much cleavage for a bookstore clerk pushes herself off of the counter with a huff. She takes one last slurp of her 80-ounce drink and puts it on the counter mere inches from my pristine magazines. The cold sweat on the plastic cup drips onto the counter.

Her nonchalance paralyzes me. If I were on my game, I’d make an excuse and pull back to get my bearings, to make a plan. But my judgment is cloudy. I’m not thinking straight. I can’t move. The collector in me is yelling to grab my magazines and run, to move over to the next cashier, the one who’s handling Stephanie’s books with care. Anything to save those magazines.

I hesitate. And just like that, disaster strikes. Only it does so in slow motion.

“Oh, Beckham is quitting?” the slob says, reaching for the magazines.

My heart plummets. What did she say? Quitting? Beckham? What?

Her large left paw slides under the spine of the top magazine, the green one. Her thumb presses down on the spine as her other digits push up from underneath, bending the magazine into an L-shape. The spine buckles. I can almost hear it scream as a white crease spreads across the pristine forest green cover.

“Oh, that’s just Favre,” she says, letting the magazine flop back to the counter as she turns to enter prices into the computer.

I’m numb. Her voice is distant, muffled. I can’t respond. All I can do is stare at what once was a perfect spine. I hand her my credit card, a zombie unaware of my surroundings.

The next thing I know, I’m outside with Stephanie, walking to the car.

“What’s wrong?” she asks with worry in her voice. “Honey, are you okay?”

“Did you see that? She totally bent the spine. Practically folded it in half,” I tell her. I’m not really sure where I am. I’m still in a daze.

I don’t speak again until the magazines are set safely in the backseat of the car and we’re reading a menu at some Latin lunch spot. I can’t read the menu; my mind is still fighting its way out of the fog. It takes awhile, but I finally start to get my bearings.

“Can we stop at another bookstore on the way home?” I ask.

Stephanie just smiles and says, “Of course.”

Ah, that’s better. Not as good as already having a nice copy, but it’s a start. This whole Favre thing is far from over, but at least I have a plan.